He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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