You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
