it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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