I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
