great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
