its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
