Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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