I want to make a zoo with you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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