I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
