i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
