Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it was like eating out sand paper
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
