I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize