I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
