apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
