no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
