The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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