I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
