my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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