whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
