i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
