Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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