I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
