dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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