Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
