My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
