Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
