dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
