return my video game
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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