I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
