Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
