I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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