got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
