I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
