I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
