but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
