She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
