Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
