is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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