so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
