Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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