Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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