where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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