I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
