I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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