is your mom at the bar?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
