if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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