5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
