Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
