East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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