hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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