the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
