No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
